;; Talk show topic generator.  

(setf *load-print* T)

(setf DAY '("Today " 
	    "Tomorrow " 
	    "Tonight "))
(setf HOST '("Oprah" 
	     "Geraldo" 
	     "The Montel Williams Show"
	     "Richard Bey"
	     "Maury Povich"
	     "Donahue"
	     "The Rosie O'Donnell Show"
	     "Ricki Lake"))
(setf PEOPLE '("Men " 
	       "Amish "
	       "Women " 
	       "Aliens " 
	       "Kids " 
	       "Boys " 
	       "Girls " 
	       "Lisp Programmers "
	       "Bikers "
	       "Redheads "))
(setf AFFLICTION '("who dance naked for Satan "
		   "who eat caterpillars "
		   "who have three arms "
		   "who donate organs to Chip'n'Dale Dancers "
		   "who have red eyes "
		   "who have no ears "		   
		   "who have no heads "
		   "who are having affairs "
		   "who are having multiple affairs "
		   "who are not having affairs "
		   "who suffer from hair loss "
		   "who suffer from limb loss "
		   )
      )
(setf FEEL '("love " 
	     "hate " 
	     "clean " 
	     "beat " 
	     "feed " 
	     "house "
	     "bathe "
	     "comb "
	     "drive "
	     "groom ")
      )

(defun rand_day ()
  (nth (random (length DAY)) DAY)
  )
(defun rand_host ()
  (nth (random (length HOST)) HOST)
  )
(defun rand_people ()
  (nth (random (length PEOPLE)) PEOPLE)
  )
(defun rand_affliction ()
  (nth (random (length AFFLICTION)) AFFLICTION)
  )
(defun rand_feel ()
  (nth (random (length FEEL)) FEEL)
  )

(defun talkshow ()
  (concatenate 'string (rand_day) "on " (rand_host) ": 
" (rand_people) 
	       (rand_affliction) "and the " (rand_people) "who " (rand_feel)
	       "them."
	       )
  )

(talkshow)
(talkshow)
(talkshow)
(talkshow)
(talkshow)
(talkshow)
(talkshow)
(talkshow)

; Sample output...

; "Tonight on Oprah: 
;Redheads who are having affairs and the Amish who drive them."
; "Tonight on Maury Povich: 
;Lisp Programmers who suffer from limb loss and the Women who drive them."
; "Tomorrow on The Montel Williams Show: 
;Boys who donate organs to Chip'n'Dale Dancers and the Kids who beat them."
; "Tomorrow on Oprah: 
;Kids who eat caterpillars and the Bikers who clean them."
; "Tonight on The Montel Williams Show: 
;Girls who are not having affairs and the Aliens who house them."
; "Today on Donahue: 
;Lisp Programmers who dance naked for Satan and the Aliens who groom them."
; "Tonight on The Rosie O'Donnell Show: 
;Men who suffer from limb loss and the Women who groom them."
; "Tonight on Oprah: 
;Redheads who dance naked for Satan and the Bikers who clean them."